Destination 10: Thailand - Full Moons, Diving and the Obilgatory Buckets on the Islands

''UP UP AND AWAY''

As told by Chris Hammond, late edition to our team.

I arrived in Bangkok on the 6th of February as I'd arranged to meet Buns and Julian there and the plan was to then head on down to the islands to spend some well deserved quality time on the beaches and and some equally well deserved time at the full moon party in Koh Phang Ngan, which was the first stop...

After a successful rendezvous in Bangkok the three of us scrambled to catch the overnight bus down to Surat Thani in time to catch the early morning ferry to Koh Phang Ngan the following morning. Three of us is actually not entirely true as Julian and Buns had managed to pick up a stray Norwegian girl by the name of Anne on their trip down from Laos. Anne was a rather interesting specimen who, much to our annoyance at 4am on the bus, seemed to thoroughly enjoy the sound of her own voice to the extent that it felt to me as though she never once shut up in the five days that she tagged along with us. This might have been bearable if she'd actually had anything of any interest to say but the last I can remember she was rambling on about her favourite contestant in 'America's Next Top Model' for the fiftieth time and I ended up buying her a drink in the desperate hope that she wouldn't be able to suck through a straw and speak
at the same time...I was wrong.

At any rate we made it to Koh Phang Ngan and checked into our luxury (everything is relative I guess...) apartment at a half completed resort called the 'Drop In'. The 'Drop In' was actually really nice and I think we all agreed that it has great potential. The problem however, lay in
the fact that it is as yet only half complete and workmen are literally working around the clock to finish it off. It is not an exaggeration to say that the rooms were being let out the day after they had been finished! Not that it mattered much as we hadn't planned on doing too much sleeping in Koh Phang Ngan and we spent our first day leisurely exploring the island on scooters. We managed to find some lovely beaches and ended up cruising through patches of tropical jungle and small rural villages, definitely a highlight. Unfortunately, as with most things in Thailand, you have to take the good with the bad and it was Buns that managed to come off his bike (thankfully not seriously...) and ended up having to pay a grossly inflated damage fee of 400 Pounds to the scooter rental company! Certainly not ideal!

After that we all felt as though we needed a few beers (or buckets as the case may be...) and we headed off to the Full Moon party looking for a bit of fun. I'm not sure that I had fully grasped the extent of the Full Moon party and I for one was completely caught by surprise at the sheer scale of it all. Essentially its a massive beach party held once a month with the full moon but what I hadn't registered was that the beach was about 2km in length and just about every inch of available space was occupied by like minded partiers! I remember at one stage looking out from a bar to my left and right and being amazed at the heaving sea of people seemingly moving as one in rythm with the music. We all enjoyed the party but inevitably we were seperated and I think that if we were to do it again we'd probably go into battle with more of a solid game plan. A few more days of partying in Koh Phang Ngan and it was time to head across to Koh Tao, a slightly smaller island about three hours ferry ride from Koh Phang Ngan.

''SWEDISH PARTY ON KO TAO''
(MOMENTS BEFORE CHRIS EATS A CHICKEN FOOT)

After the frantic pace of Koh Phang Ngan and the full moon party it was nice to find a slightly more chilled out island and Julian and I took advantage of our time off the sauce to do our Open Water scuba course. The course was great fun and we met some good people, Koh Tao supposedly has some of the best diving in the world and the course was without a doubt one of the highlights for me. Whilst Jules and I were concentrating on not breathing too quickly underwater Guy was holding the fort above sea level, practising his handstands on the beach and honing his pick up lines on the hordes of Swedish backpackers that seem to converge on Thailand in February and March. Obviously the techniques needed a little more refinement as Julian and I resurfaced only to find Buns sitting on his own chatting to a squirrel and claiming that we'd just missed the gorgeous blondes that he'd been talking to for hours...hmmm...

Having completed my dive course Guy and I thought it was a good idea to take a guided tour of the island that included a decent hike through a bit of jungle terrain, a series of high rock jumps into the sea on a secluded part of the island and some snorkelling through underwater caves finished off with a chance to snorkel with the increasingly less common black tipped reef sharks in a small little bay on the unpopulated side of Koh Tao. The day had been going perfectly and we had all been jumping off the rocks for an hour or so when I heard Buns shouting rather rantically that he had cut his arm quite badly on a rock...he wasn't joking either! Somehow Buns had managed to swim into what must have been the only rock in an open stretch of water that must have been as deep as it was wide! At any rate the cut was very deep and we spent the next hour pillaging the first aid kit of some germans that happened to be in the area and organising transport to the nearest clinic, which was an hour's drive away by 4x4 through some pretty rough terrain! Anyway, we managed to make it there in one peace after I'd spent the better part of a bumpy hour trying to convince Buns that he wasn't going to die! The cut, as it turned out,was dead straight, almost as though it had been cut with a razor, and the doctor that looked no older than 16 did a very good job of stitching Buns back together again. (Is there any coincidence in the fact that Guy went travelling through Africa only to return with badly blistered feet, went skiing in Aspen only to return with frostbite, went to Croatia and returned with a broken jaw, went cruising around Thailand only to return with 25 stitches in his arm? I think not!)

''C, BUNS AND MUZ IN PHUKET''

After Koh Tao it was on to Koh Phi Phi, the famous island on which much off the film 'The Beach' was shot and also an island that had been completely decimated by the tsunami in 2004. Its easy to see how the island was so badly ravaged as the development is literally on a stretch of flat land between two beaches on either side of the island. By all accounts the wave hit the southern side of the island and washed right across the flat stretch to hit the water on the Northern side, destroying everything in its path. Phi Phi has largely been rebuilt now but that doesn't necessarily mean that it has been improved. Our dive instructor pointed out to us that the new hospital had been built only a few metres back from the shoreline on a site that would be instantly wiped out in the event of another tsunami! As Africans we were all rather glad to find out that ours is not the only continent in the world where logic is not a pre-requisite for the allocation of public funds! Phi Phi was great though, a beautiful island where its possible to do as much or as little as you like. I'll never forget running the gauntlet each day along one particular street that happened to have about seven massage parlours all in a row with about 35 masseuses standing outside at any given time shouting, "you wan massage, cheap cheap, vewy good, wan massage?" They reminded me of a murder of crows sitting on a telephone wire making an awful noise, but thats Thailand for you really, completely unique in its own whacky kind of way!

Unfortunately Jules had to leave back to SA from Phi Phi and I left him and Guy alone for a few minutes as they said their tearful goodbyes and wallowed in self pity knowing that their world tour had come to an end! I was just getting started so didn't feel quite as sad but I must say that I was extremely grateful of the opportunity to meet up with them both and we had a superb time in every regard, plenty of memories that we'll be able to look back on over the years with great fondness...And that is pretty much where the adventure ends! I've spent the past two weeks in a Thai muaythai (kickboxing) camp in the middle of nowhere, but thats a story for
another time and another blog!

Love you long time
Chris

Destination 9: Cambodia - Pol Pot, Beach Time and Angkor What?????

''OVERBOARD''

We arrived in Cambodia after a long border crossing. We were greeted by our 'chariot' (clapped out old bus) that was going to whisk us quickly away to Phomn Penh. There wasnt too much wrong with the bus, pretty standard 'old school' yankee looking school bus. It didnt excatly have aircon but hey, it was manageable! We were pretty happy with the bus that Mr Mo at 4000 Islands had sold us. Only problem was ........every friggin other Mr Mo on Don Det had sold their hostel dwellers the same ticket. What this means is that the bus was grossly over-packed. Sardine and tin are words the come to mind. The isles were literally piled waist high with all the big backpackers that us backpackers lug around. On top of this mass pile sat all the people who had been late getting up to cross the border and hence didnt have seats. It really was quite comical how overbooked it was. The show had to go on and so we set off into the hot Cambodian wilderness........a great start. Lucky we had seats!

After a few hours of driving we stop for the obligatory sandwich/pit stop. Some people were getting off here.....awesome. Little did we know that for the 10 people that got off another 15 had paid to get on! Cambodia....no idea of how to run a bus company.....lasting memory!

On the bus we met some cool people which was the only positive could take from the trip. One group of girls, the Norwegians (Kari, Sofie, Line and Ida) were going to be ''those people you keep bumping into'' ...........we saw and jammed with then in Phomn Penh , Ko Phangan, Ko Tao and Phi Phi.....

After a very long journey we arrived, knackered, in Phomn Penh (referred to as PP from now on). EVENTUALLY found a place to stay and decided that was us as we had to get up the next day to go to the S21 museum and the 'Killing Fields'.

In the morning we woke up and organised a tuk-tuk driver for the day. He took us wizzing around PP in style......driving well but aggressively. He literally drove us against oncoming traffic, showed us how to push into a wall of fast oncoming traffic by simply having the balls to do so....he really was quite phenomenal! He would have been a clear winner in the game chicken! He went and didnt gave a rats abouth the others! In between fearing for our lives we were able to take in some of PP's sights, sounds and smells. Let's just say that the smells are the first thing that hit you and they were definitely the most enduring memory for me. Even more so then driving up the side of a road against the traffic. PP is VERY polluted and has that strong open drain smell! Very far from ideal. All the people driving around on scooters wore face masks to protect themselves from the pollution. Sordid place, but apparently not as bad as Indian cities....which was nice to know!

The S21 museum was pretty a haunting experience. It was an old school that was transformed in an interrogation and torture barracks when Pol Pott and his Khymer Rouge regime set about setting back the clock. This setting back the clock to time zero was new beginning for Cambodia and involved cleansing Cambodia of anyone against his views (basically the educated elite). Anyone who was educated, wore glasses etc was to interrogated, tortured and killed. The old class rooms are now empty par the occasional old iron bed where the prisoners were strapped to and tortured. On the walls hang black and white pictures - a few spooky reminders of how dark and twisted the human heart can become. The pictures of what they did to some people are truly horrific and are easily comparable to what you would see in Auschwitz or Dachau.

Lots of Cambodians were tortured here before being lorried off a few miles to Killing Fields where they were brutally killed and thrown into mass graves. We wont go into detail as to the methods...we will let you read that for yourself when you hopefully go there. The place is something that we would recommend seeing and experiencing if you are in Asia. A very sobering experience, amidst all the hedoism. Especially sobering cause as you can tell by our pictures on facebook Asia it is mostly about buckets, parties and good times. It gave us a good (yet brief) perspective of what has happened to this country. We couldn't believe this happened only 30 years ago.....Again it just made us think of our troubles in this world. A credit card, an unrequited love or a fight with your mate all seem stupid when compared to he fate that some of these brave people had to endure!

After a full on day we explored a few of PP's food markets. They can be compared to South Americas....they sell and eat pretty much anything. We saw a basket of freshly skinned frogs with heads chopped off. The hearts were still beating....GROSS! After a pleasant dinner we hit town by the river and then later a more sketchy place called the Heart of Darkness. Quite appropriate after what we had seen that day. Had a good night though.....despite the clubs name it was actually VERY COOL!

Wham, bam and thankyou mam PP, now it was time for the relaxation of beach life! Sihnoukville, or SV from now, on was to be a few days of bliss.

Again on the bus we met a couple of cool peeps, two Swedish sisters, Kaysa and Stina. We had a great few days..............eating well, sleeping well, having good chats, reading book , driving around on scooters, sun tanning, exploring an island just off SV, long walks on the beach (forgive the cliche) ..................in terms of the rushed Cambodia experience this was the most relaxing. We had almost a week in SV just soaking up some rays and catching up on some rest as the last part of Laos and the initial part of Cambodia had been super full on.

''ANGKOR WHAAAATTTT? WITH 3 OF THE CRAZY BEER CHUGGING CANADIANS''

After SV, it was to SR we headed....SR is short for Siem Riep. Siem Riep is where the magnificent temples of of Angkor Wat are located. Now, as you all know by now the trip consisted of an over prescribed bus to PP, then a change and another packed bus north west to SR. A long journey!

We arrived in SR shattered and had a good sleep as we needed to be up crack of dawn to see the temples at first light! The next day was truly exceptional.....we had fantastic weather and a good driver that took us all around the temples! Lets just say that the temples were spectacular and we were dying to take loads of photos but you will never guess what? I thought my camera had half charge and would be fine! Well, it wasn't quite half and the battery died around 11 in the morn! Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh well, just means another trip to Cambodia hey? That is sometimes a good thing - if you miss stuff it always gives you a reason to go back. South America - Columbia, Ecuador and Chile/Argentina's Patagonia region are things we didn't do so we will simply have to go back there. Okay, where were we.....Asia, yeah, right.

After a of walking around and climbing ancient temples it was time to quench the big thirst we had mustered! We went to the well renowned Angkor Wat club, sat down (at a large table) and ordered a couple of bevvies. The next thing a group of Canadian guys and girls come up and ask if they could share out large table. Now let me tell you these French Canadians weren't light drinkers by any means. Think they must have been tree fellers or something equally as hardcore. They liked to 'chug'/down beer and they weren't half bad at it! Anyways a night of heavy drinking ensued! Beer and music......2 things that can really cross barriers in connecting people! Thanks Beer....good night! In Cambodia the Beer is called Angkor Wat by the by.

In fact if you drive around most things have Angkor in it. Angkor Wat Grand Hotel, Angkor Wat Cigarettes, Angkor Watt Guesthouse, Royal Angkor Wat Hotel, Angkor Wat loo roll, Angkor Wat everything! Crazee! Enough Angkor Wattage for now....

As usual we got home around 5 in the morning, only to have a couple hours sleep before we had to get up and pack. Jules, in quite a messy state, wakes Guy up, in equally and unhappy place. Guy gets up and packs and goes to the front reception where our tuk tuk is supposedly meant to pick us up. Tuk Tuk is supposed to taxi us to our bus, where we embark for Bangkok. Guy comes though and Jules is rapping to this bird called Anne from Denmark. Anne will get mentions in the Thailand part of the trip.....be ready...she is a beaut! Anyway Anne is on our bus to Bangkok as well, a travel partner! We supposed to be leaving at 8......all good......so far!

Anyways 8 rolls by so Guy takes the bull by the horns and says lets get our own tuk tuk to the bus station otherwise we gonna miss our bus. Everyone concurs. We go to 2 different bus stops and soon figure we have missed the bus! We stop, speak to some dudes at a petrol station and they phone the agency we booked it through on their mobiles. Thai speaking follows. The random dude that helped us call the travel agency says 'jump in the car'. He will apparently take us to the border so we can catch up with the bus. Weird, but we agree when we find out the price is free. Still skeptical but at this stage we don't care. So we climb into the back seat: Jules, Anne and Guy. Then a little Thai man jumps in the back next to Guy (Poor little man). Then a woman and child climb in the front seat, then 2 fully grown Thai men jump into the drivers seat and off we go. We spent most of the first half hour trying to figure which one of the men was doing what with respect to the brake, clutch and accelerator! Fun Fun Fun...but we made it to the border! Relief!

We find the people we were supposed to travel with on the other side of the border waiting for new transport to Bangkok. We are stoked and sit down and relax. A couple mini vans rock up and our people start get on. Being polite guys we let other people get on first presuming another mini van would be just round the corner! How wrong we were......cause we were polite we had to wait 5 hours at the border for the big big bus to come through and pick us (and a million other people from other Cambodian destinations who were all behind us) up! An interesting day from hell.....the way we like to travel. Always more fun hungover! And so it was to Bangkok we went to pick up Guys friend, Christoffel Jacobus Hammond. Chis is aka ''C'', aka ''Chris No buoyancy control Hammond'', aka ''Chris High 5 Hammond''.....ask ''C'' for explanations.

So the big bus arrived on BKK and the last page was turned on our Cambodia chapter! In terms of chapters it was happy and sad, fun and fast, slow and mellow! An interesting little chapter in both our lives! Thanks Cambodia!

Destination 8: Laos - Slow boats, 'In the Tubing' and a 'few thousand islands'

We were happy to touch down safely in Bangkok....but at the same time we were VERY nervous about Asia! Could it be as good as South America? We didn't think it could be, surely not....South America had treated us too well.

So, after arriving after another very long travel day we crashed down at a hostel called Lub D! Really worth a mention, if you are ever in Bangkok it is well worth the stay. Reasonable and super modern! Our first evening we decide to hit the infamous Pat Pong are (or red light district) just to see what it is all about! So we head for a restaurant....any restaurant. We had been thinking cheap tasty green curry for about 3 months!

So we find a decent place and the guy at the restaurant starts chatting to us....usual spiel, where you from etc etc. We ask him if there are any normal bars where travellers and normal locals hangout around (as the places we had popped our heads into seemed very dingy). Dingy as in girls approaching us and saying you want ''boom boom'' dodgy! Sure, no probs, he know just the place. He walks us to an okay looking restaurant place (not what we wanted but we sat down). Before you could whisper ''Thai Hooker'' a line of literally 30 beautiful Thai ladies are lined up outside our table. They all have numbers. The dude says take your pick. Jules and Guy just look at each other, too embarrassed to do anything! Eventually after much pushing we decide on 2 ladies! We sat and chatted to them for about 30 minutes asking them what they do (as if it weren't obvious...apparently only massages), what nationalities they like/dislike (they hate the Japs by the by), where they were from etc. We actually had a decent conversation with the gals....we bought them a couple of drinks and conversation flowed as well as could be expected. Everything was fine till we decided enough chat was enough and we wanted the bill. Sure...the bill comes.....1000 Bht (20 pounds for 2 beers and buying the girls 2 cokes...the most expensive round/drink we have ever bought....beating Ibiza and Sweden for price per drink! Ha, a cheek but anyways! After that we checked out a real ''Go Go'' Bar.....a real experience! We were flocked to as we were the only guys under 30 who looked half decent. Everyone else was 40 plus and looked like any of the following:

* a giant walking tattoo
* Ron Jeremy on a particularly steamy day at the office
* most likely to become a paedophile

Go Go Bars explained: Go to one for yourself.

After a single beer at the Go Go bar it was to sleep! Woke up the next day and explored Bangkok a bit....took the Sky train etc etc. We then caught a train up to the north that evening....a train to Chang Mai area. Obviously we had not booked ahead (not our style) so we had to settle with 3rd class non-sleeper! Not advisable for comfort or speed! After the overnight train and 2 buses we made it up to the border where we had a night in preparation of the boat down to Mekong to Luang Prabang! We had an early start (b/fast, border crossing etc etc) and then did a little waiting around for our boat. Initially we booked the ''fast'' 7 hour boat down, but having spoke to several people (who highly advised against it) we chose the more sensible 2 day ''slow'' boat.

Anyone ever doing this trip should defo do the ''slow'' boat! It is large boat with a couple hundred people we reckon, quite cramped and full of backpackers and interesting types! We met some really good good people on the boat.....people that we kept on bumping into all the way in Cambodia (as people are often on the same route as you). Notable mentions were

* Raj and Sandra
* The Yanks (Caitlin, B and Andrea)
* The Argies (Lara and Denise)

and many more!

Anyways, the trip was slow, as the name ''slow'' boat suggests, but a lot of fun! Beer was drunk, cards were played, friends were made......all whilst admiring some of the finest scenery you could possibly hope to see! 2 days well spent and then we were in Luang Prabang!

Luang Prabang, a little gem of a place that you could easily spend a week in......full of old school French architecture, fine dining, colourful markets and ''monky'' monasteries! It is a place you could fall in love with quite literally! Once we had settled our belongings and went out an Indian dinner (superb) with team America. After dinner Jules and I decided to find a spot to indulge in a couple of cold ones! Much to our disgust we discovered that Laos had a curfew of 12. The only place that opened past 12 was the bowling alley They sold booze and apparently it was a gas, so we hit the bowling lanes! in the end we had, as usual ''too much fun''......after all we are travelling, why not have a good time!

Outside of Luang Prabang there is a vast range of seemingly untouched beauty! Tiny authentic Lao Villages, the smell of burnt wood (very African in a way), fresh air and clean rivers! There is a lot one can do.....and in our 2 days there we did a few of the highlights! We randomly met up with team Argentina after a breakfast and decided we wanted to do the Kuang Si Waterfalls! These waterfalls were epic.....we rented bikes and drove the 20km on windy roads out there with the Argies on the back! That was one of the best days of the trip so far....the smells, the views, the little villages, the wind our faces....quite spectacular! It was almost ruined when we decided to let the gals drive the last 5 km home. They had never ever been on bikes before but because they were automatic we decided to trust female drivers! Needless to say Jules and Guy both came within inches of their lives a couple of times! Argentines are really not good drivers....don't ever drive with one, especially not a female one!

The next day we were elephant riding and ''waterfalling'' again! This time we did the Tad Sae Waterfalls! If you want to do elephant riding in Asia we would recommend you do it here in Luang Prabang. Other Asian elephant riding companies have been known to be really cruel to the ellies. This elephant centre is haven unwanted and mistreated ellies and apparently they are really looked after here. From elephant riding and waterfall it was straight onto a bus to Van ''in the the tubing'' Vieng!

We heard from reliable sources (Lying Planet) that this route, route 13, was a dangerous route to ride and has been hijacked by Laos pirates before. We didn't think much of this rumour till we sat down. Waiting for the bus to arrive a little Laos dude jumps on dressed pretty normally par the giant AK47 strapped to his shoulder! Okay, so maybe it is a little bit of a dangerous route! Arrive in Van Vieng pretty late at night and sort accommodation....pretty lucky as most things were very closed! The next day we were greeted by perfect day. It would be rude not to have a few beers and go tubing!

On our time budget we only allocated 3 days to Van Vieng! Lonely Planet neglected to tell us how much fun it actually would be! It is the most insane party place in the world I reckon. It is simply an open air night club, with people running around in bikinis and boardies, swinging and jumping into the river, dancing and getting drunk on Asia's infamous buckets.....all to the tune of MGMT, Kings of Leon, and songs like ''Infinity!'' What a way to spend a day! Along the river there are slides, swings, fires, mud baths, people writing all over each other in markers (refer to some facebook pics).....people are basically running amuk and going 'bos' wild. A very hedonistic place where everything is done in the name of fun!

Julian once again reaffirmed his camel mans status on the trip with some good backflips off the high swing (quite a feat)! He was feeling so confident that he thought he would attempt the double.....bad mistake Julian. Jules was flying through the air like a flying goat, one flip, coming around for the second, people had their breath held, is he gonna make it, SLAP, Jules lands on his back! The crowd go absolutely bazurk.....you get more cheers for totally messing up and hurting yourself then you do for doing a flawless triple backflip!

Quick aside on buckets: Buckets......Buckets are quite literally small plastic buckets that you buy as you would a spirit and mixer in a club. Only difference is the volume of booze, in a bucket they simply open a half jack of spirit (usually vodka, Asian rum/whisky {if u feeling budget}) and pour that into the already ice filled bucket. You then simply mix the half jack with whatever you want.....usually m150 (Asia's Red Bull) and Manoa soda (a lime lemonade mix....very nice). Buckets get you very intoxicated.....and very quickly!

Tubing was a bit like Ground Hog Day, everyday feels a little like the same. Wake up, go tubing, get a tuk tuk back, fight for the shower (as u freezing cold by the end of it), get an Indian Curry from Nazeem, go to Smile Bar. Wake up and press the repeat button! In the end we did tubing for a week.......and we would have done it for longer had our exhausted chassis not started to strongly disagree with what they were having to do everyday!

If you were to be stuck anywhere in the world an experiencing ground hog day, Van Vieng would be the place! We partied hard with a many fab people.......Some of the people who really made our time in Van Vieng so cool were:

Raj, Sandra, Team Aussie (Scarlett, Alanna, The Hoff and Kate) and the 'Great Danes'/our volleyball oppo (Helle and Henriette) just to name a few.

The week in Van Vieng was awesome but it also put some time pressures on us for the rest of Laos and Cambodia! Doing what we wanted to do meant we would have to put the pedal to the metal if we were gonna make full moon by the 8th!

So the race begun! We caught an overnight sleeper bus (literally the biggest bus I had ever seen) down to 4000 Islands. We cycled around Don Det, checked out the waterfalls, had a few drinks, took in the village life and then we were off......

Adios Laos, Cambodia here we come............

Destiantion 7: Oz - Beaches, cricket, beach cricket and good times

Ozzie Ozzie Ozzie.....Oi Oi Oi.

We touched down in Sydney to a hot sunny day! This was too set the trend for our time in Aus.

We booked into our posh luxury city apartments in Sydney. We decided we had to spoil ourselves after months of backpacking (dodge showers, kitchens and communal areas were definitely last season). So we check in, settle in and decide to hit Manly beach to catch up with Ester (a Dutch gal we had befriended in South America who did a very similar route to us. One of those people you keep on bumping into) and a few of her mates. Had a great day on the beach and went for a few drinks at the famous ''Side Bar'' below ''Wake Up'' Hostel! So Sydney and our Aus trip got off to a great start beside one small dampener!

Dampener......When we decided to book this accommodation in Sydney we knew that we were leaving LA on the 26th December. We, as you could have guessed by now, weren't always 100 100% on the ball when it came it being organised. We booked apartments online for the first three nights, the 27th, 28th, 29th. We paid online by credit card and the deal was done! When we arrived in Sydney we quickly realised it was the 28th of December. In flying from LA to Sydney we obviously crossed the date line and lost the 27th in travel! So we had paid for a night (a fairly expense night on a backpackers budget) that we didn't use! Dope!

Catching up with friends was pretty much what Oz was to be all about. We spent a lot of time on the beach around Bondi/Coogee seeing old London friends.

New Year we went to a relaxed balcony party in Bondi with Brewer and Dano (old London acquaintances), and a few of Brewers close mates! That was a really good night......very small but as good as being in the thick of it by the harbour we reckon!

A couple of days after New Year we treated ourselves to a day at the cricket! Seano, a couple of Julians cousin and team Roadtrippin hit the SCG for the 1st day of the final test! It was a cracker of day, one of the best days we had on world tour! Idle banter with all the Ozzies around us, entertaining cricket, beer, more beer, more cricket, more banter, zinc painted faces, ''snakes'', Ozzies getting kicked out all around us, runs and wickets, burgers, more beer, catches, good catch up sessions, jokes, jokes about how bad the Ozzie cricket team was, beer.......all that a day at the cricket should be!

After a good few days of beaching in Sydney it was time for the Melbourne experience! Our first few days in Melbourne we were very kindly put up by a travel buddy we met in Rio called Christie! Spent our time beaching on Brighton beach, going down to Phillip Island, taking in a couple of movies and of course doing a little shopping.

Next stop in Melbourne was the Kyle Black residence. Like all of Blackers's homes it was a mad party destination! Blackers lives with 3 other awesome party dudes.....Woolsey, Pauly Ryan and Campo. The boys showed us a really good time: from beach cricket days on St Kilder beach to poker evenings; from awesome night spots like Baroq Bar and Madame Brussels to serious Play Station sessions (''Guitar Hero'' and ''Mario Carts'') at their place! They really knew how to put a couple of 20 something boys up for a few nights. Thanks Blackers and co for a wicked time!

After a whirlwind tour in Melbourne it was time to do that thing we hate so much......pack up the backpack, lug it around and get on some train/bus/plane!

Melbourne passed by in a blink of an eye and before we knew it we were sitting on a balcony overlooking Sydney with Tristan and Bianca Elder. Over dinner and a few glasses of wine we contemplated our last night in Sydney! Where does the time go hey? It goes quick when you having fun and Oz, we can say for certain, was fun!

Destination 6: Brazil and the end of the Americas

''FIRST LAPA EXPERIENCE''

Brazil...... Brazil was supposed to be beach beach beach.....but the weather in Brazil had other ideas for us! Torrential rain ravished the south of Brazil killing about a 100 people in December. Florianopolis (the surfer/movie star hangout) of Brazil was supposed to be one of the highlights of our South American leg! Obviously, cause being rockstars ourselves, we would naturally fit in. In the end, due to the weather we decided to go to the Pantanal (Brazilian Wetlands) with the persuasion of a young Canadian lass we met in Iguazu. Sarah Jones teamed up with team Roadtrippin the Sphere and we hit the road from Iguazu to the Pantanal.

The 14 hour bus ride from Iguazu to Campo Grande (the arse end of nowhere excuse my French) was a killer......we had no idea where we were going, had to change bus, we stopped constantly, people told us to get off, then get back on, then get off (all in the most basic form of body language communication as Englsih was not happening)......eventually we stopped and for some reason unknown to us we had to sit in the middle of nowhere waiting for some other bus to arrive and take us to Campo Grande. Not the safest feeling when you waiting around and it is 11 o clock at night and all the English speaking Brazilian's you have met along the way have said', ''be careful, all tourists gets robbed in Brazil''.

We eventually arrived in Campo Grande and booked our trip of the world famous Pantanal! The guy at the agency/hostel was very nice and showed us some amazing pictures of these wetlands (crocodiles, horseback riding in shoulder deep wetlands, swimming and snorkeling etc). We were sold a vast expanse of beautiful untouched wetland. Once we got to the Pantanal we soon discovered it was not the rainy nor the wet season. It was in fact the end of the dry season and to say there was a mass of H20 around would be akin to saying Pol Pot was humanitarian of the year 1979!

Despite our lack of research in the Pantanal it really turned out to be a massive relaxing session for the three adventurers. We had a nice group of people with us.....an eccentric 40 something Swiss dude, 3 crazee Dutchies (one of whom we met on a bus in Argentina), and a few other randoms! The Pantanal, despite being dry was beautiful and very relaxing! We ate well (very well), everyday breakfast lunch and dinner was served buffet style ......loads of meat, loads of veggies and salads....yum yum. When we weren't eating, we lying by the pool soaking up the rays whilst Sara's Ipod kept us entertained! When we weren't eating, sleeping, drinking by the pool we were doing our adventure activities. Adventure activities consisted of kicking an old horse around the farm, fishing for piranhas, cayman spotting and walks around the Pantanal. We caught some beautiful sunsets, had one weird but massive night at the ''campers'' campsite (budget accomodation and budget booze), caught up on some relaxation (movies, pool, swimming, reading etc). The Pantanal was a perfect stop on route to Rio......which we would soon discover was not a place for someone afraid to party! It gave us time to chill out, recoup after the extremities of Argentina and give our livers a half time break because Rio was to be another party session.

First of all we had to get to Rio....small problem of 29 hour bus journey on Brazilian buses (no full cama or ''bed'', no champagne and hot meals, no movies, no random old dude to tuck you in with a blanket.....just sheer bumpy uncomfortableness for 29 hours! But we were definitely ready to endure the pain as the grass was always greener on the other side......Rio was the other side and it promised bikinis, Brazilians, ''Brazilians'', bronzed bodies, booze and a big party! Supermodels, sun and the samba was the dream....but what would be in store for the three entrepid adventurers?

We arrived into Rio tired, dreary individuals and caught a taxi to Mellow Yellow (according to Chris ''Spot''' Wynn the most legend backpackers ever). The taxi was a insightful experience into traveling and the art of being prepared. We stepped of the bus and the taxi drivers offered us a ride to Copacabana, where Mellow Yellow was situated! How much, ''80 Real'' the answer. Luckily we had met a French couple and they simply said they had spoken to a hostel in the area and they said we should not pay more than 40 Real (half the quote). Just goes to show that piss poor performance can be avoided by proper preparation.....thanks the Frenchies!


Our first Friday in Rio was a goodie....we bought or should I say invested in a pair of authentic Brazilian beach bats, hit the beach and then returned to the hostel to get ready for our first real Brazilian experience......the Lapa Street party. The party was great, literally an area full of street revellers and street vendors going off to the sound of Brazilian dancing and drums! The vendors sold everything from beer, to Churros, to meat on a stick and everyone was really into the party! We had a big group of us (Dom 'Cedric' Chennells, Peta, Ester, Sarah, Jules and myself) and the night was a good one! Guy, in a drunken state had 100 reals stolen out of his hand by a big Brazilian dude. The thief skillfully managed to offload the 100 reals to a mate so when he confronted the pickpocket he had nothing in his hand! Rio 1 Guy 0 ,or should I say Rio 100 Guy 0!

''WHAT A VIEW''

Saturday there was excitement in the air for Jules as Sexy Simmy was arriving. Sim arrived and the party was gotten started by going to the Maracana stadium to watch a Brazilian footie game. Footie game was amazing despite it being a mid table affair. The stadium was absolutely immense and despite a slow first half the game really heated up when the opposition and underdogs scored a cracking goal. This made for a real interesting second half.....lots of dancing, shouting, singing, dancing under the big flags etc etc. We also met a few peeps from the hostel....team Faroe Islands (where is that, yes, we asked the same question), Team Drinking England (Rich and Chris, shortly to be joined by Ed).....some of the people we were going to p-a-r-taaayyyy with over the next week or so! Football was a real experience, the drinks before hand, the hot as hell meat on a stick, the song singing in the street etc etc. This really got us in the mood for the ever famous Favela Funk 'shake your ass like a local'' street party! The street party was a riot! We danced like we hadn't danced before.......just being in that environment was a real eye opener! To make it in the Favela you have to have a fast bike, be 6'3'' with huge muscles, be able to dance like a backup to Madonna and wear a massive silver chain over an intimidating scar and tattoo covered body! That is if you a boy, if you a girl you need to wear a short short skirt and be able to shake your ass side to side at the approximate rate of a humming bird whilst still being able to shift your hips up and down.....pretty near impossible if you ever try it! It takes the co-ordination that truly only a Brazilian is born with. The favela parties take place in massive warehouses...

Tulio, the Mellow Yellow bouncer (a mountain of a man) escourts you into the club and you are whisked upstairs to the ''gringo'' section. The gringo section (also the VIP section) is upstairs and overlooks the sea of sweaty humanity below. This section is still very busy but less intimidating then the cattle market below. We have seen some meat markets in our time but nothing really compares to this.....just ask Simone. She was walking through the dance floor, holding Julian's hand, when some huge man grabbed her face, pulled her in and licked the length of her cheek from jaw to temple. Charming chat up line, should really put that one in the memory bank and use it!

Besides being a piece of meat these parties rock and we had a great time there.....danced like Brazilians (or should I say we tried to) through he night and had a really fab time. Most of all I will remember DJ Creo and his thumping tune that went something like, ''baba ba baba ba baaaa.......baba ba baba ba baaaa , creo creo creo!'' Our first week in Rio was spent soaking up some rays, seeing the sights like the Christ Statue, going out to a few nice restaurants and taking in some drinks. Brazil is known for its Churrascaria Restaurants. These restaurants are all you can eat buffets where they bring round all sorts of meats and cuts on massive skewers. There is also massive buffet with everything from Sushi to Lasagne to the most amazing salads etc! They are the best restaurants ever......all you can eat sushi and chicken hearts for 20 real...can you ask for more? Brazil is also known for its beaches and you can see why......they are long and full of interesting things to see. The guys are the best athletes I have ever seen.....they play beach volleyball with their bodies (shoulders, chestm head and feet).....some of the most amazing displays of talent! There is always something interesting to see. Things to suite anyone's taste.....fit bodies, lady boys in thongs, speedos, guys doing gymnastics on the beach, guys kicking footballs around like they are Maradonna, amazing beach sculptures, surfers, etc etc. A day at the beach is never dull and you see some amazing skills.....it is no wonder they are have dominated football for so long!

''XMAS WITH A TOUCH OF SAFFA AND BRAZIL''

We also went on a favela tour during the day. After seeing the acclaimed film ''City of God'' we had always wanted to see this place in real life. During the day it is quite an experience. The slums are controlled by drug lords who keep the peace. The police (that aren't corrupt) steer clear of these favelas and let them be. As do the Brazilian government who let these slums swell to the massive sizes they are today. The Rochina Favela is huge and it is maze of houses built on top of steep hill. The favela is haphazard, dirty and dangerous but it has certain positiveness about it you cant deny. People are normal, just living there and seem quite content! Rochina is estimated to have around 200 000 residents. The land is government owned but if the government now tried to displace the inhabitants there would be mass uprising. Where would they be taken to etc etc. As mentioned earlier this favela is controlled by 2 or 3 gangs who control drugs and money flowing in and out of the favela. The success of a druglord is based on how their ability to control the peace in the favela as the average inhabitant is simply a normal working class Brazilian wanting to live close to work but cant afford the rent in a more normal area of Rio!

As we became the old hands of Rio and Mellow Yellow we made some good friends. In addition to Team Faroe we picked up James, Team Watford (Ama, Emila and Tif) and of course our old Radelaide mates, Leigh ''Jam Marmalade'' Rebbeck and Alex ''I cant win a drinking competition to save my life'' Overall. With this core group of COOL people we had a great time. In fact we were having so much of a good time we wanted to change our flight from Rio to Caracas, Venezuela to a couple of days later. As I mentioned we were having such a blast we completely forgot to check our dates so when we phoned up Jemma (our trusty Manchester round the world specialist) to change our flight she was a bit confused.........

Reasoning........

Jules: Hi Jemma, pleasantries, blah did blah. Please can we change our flight from from Rio to Caracas.

Jemma: Hmmmm, what time is it there?
Jules: 10 in the morning
Jemma: your flight just took off, too bad so sad!

Well done Jules and Guy....again proving your worth as the worlds best backpackers!
So, we were forced to stay in Rio another few days.....but we weren't really that fussed. We were having fun and felt like rockstars in Rio! Speaking of Rockstars we went to go see Madonna in the Maracana Stadium! Real good hoot!

As the days flew by slowly but surely the inevitable had to happen. the dream had to come to an end......Team Faroe departed, then Ama departed, the Tif and Emilia departed and so the list goes on. As the familiar friendly faces were replaced by fresh new ones we were ''ready to blow this rice paddy''.....but not before seeing Sugar Loaf, the most spectacular view in South America. Pity we timed it so well that when we got to the top we could hardly see 2 meters in front of us......Besides this sad ending we can well and truly say we had a blast in Rio! Thanks to everyone we mention above for making our short time in Rio so memorable!

The end of the Americas : (

Before we got to Oz Team Roadtrippinthesphere had some traveling to do. As you will remember, we were stranded in Rio due to a team communication error! Anyways, Jemma, a real life rockstar organised a change of date flight to Caracas at the additional cost of 100 quid. At one stage we were staring down the barrell of buying another 400 quid flight to Caracas, which, would not have been ideal! Jemma = lifesaver! So we left Rio, flew to Caracas Venezvuela for a night. We wont count it as a destination on our trip even though we did get the passport stamp. We simply crashed and got ready to return to destination 1, the US of A.

This time we had a couple days on the West Coast over Xmas. LA and San Diego were the destinations!

Had a cool couple of days there cruising around in a big convertable we rented! These few days quickly came to an end and then it was West West West all the way to East...... to Australia!

Destination 5: Argentina - Red meat, malbec...lots of it!

So begins our Argentinean adventure, chapter 5 of "ROADTRIPPIN THE SPHERE". The drive from Santiago to Mendoza was simply spectacular. You slowly wide your way through the rugged snow capped Andies. A quick 8 hour bus ride and we arrived in Mendoza.

The Mendoza region produces 70% of all wine made in Argentina! (And we made a concerted effort to try and make a considerable dent on that 70%)

We entered Mendoza expecting a sort of Stellenbosch feel, this is certainly not the case. It is atually the 3rd biggest city in Argentina, but even with its size, came a wonderful beauty. The streets are very wide and sided by shady trees!. The lovely clean paved walk ways made home to many a little coffe shop, corner cafe or restaurant where people would sit and slowly drink a coke, chit chat an generally unwind!

It didn't take us long at all to notice not only how beautiful the city was, but also how beautiful the Argentinean race is. We have never seen so many 10's in one place! So if you are a boy and like pretty gals, I would say Mensoza is the place for you.

Our hostel, Damajuana, was more like a hotel then hostel. It had a beautiful pool with loungers and a great grassy area. Our first night wasted no time in heading straight out for steak and of cos a bottle or two of Malbec wine. Every night thereafter we would head to the local butcher and grab steaks and a good bottle of cheap local vino and have a braai (or an Asado as the Argies call it) at our hostel!

Our first little excursion was horse back riding in the mountains around Mendoza. We had our own personal guide, Enrique, who spoke perfect Ingles. Really nice guy! Headed up into the mountains with great views of the city and a beer at sunset on his ranch. We also got the all important low down on the party scene of Mendoza. Where the locals like his younger sister liked to party! hehehe

Next adventure was bikes and wine tour! This was pretty over rated, and in the end we just bought a bottle of wine and sat and drank it in the beautiful vine yard! These wine farms are extremely beautiful and just like those of the Western Cape.

Mendoza also bought us together with our Chicago girls.....oh what fun! Katie and Michelle (who were "studying" in BA) joined us at some locals house party that Guy and I had been invited to (our last night in Mendoza).

We got the party started in style and as expected we quickly became their new Super heroes.....(they just won't admit it) But perhaps the highlight of the night was getting them home to catch their bus at 8am....Oh what a nite! We headed back to the party and watched the sun come up! Needless to say Sunday was one of the longest days of world tour. Multiplied by the fact that we had to climb onto a 15 hour bus to BA. It is very necessary to give you a quick idea of Argentinean buses. You get pillows, blankets, a seat that goes completely flat, hot meals and champagne.....yes very romantic we know (finer details are censored for reader comfort). Well, all of this comfort is at least what you get when you are the worlds worst backpackers(ie. Sphere and Roadtrip)....we only travelled on 1st class buses!

Mendoza in a nutshell involved: fun activities, lots of wine tasting (and drinking aggressively), LOTS of red meat, a few great nights out, loads of ping pong and pool and some serious R and R.....

The show must go on and so it did......to BA! but before we continue, lets give you a few facts of our trip. The date is now the 29/11/08. We have been living the dream for 64 days. We have visited 5 countries, we have slept in 21 different beds each, we have caught 7 long distance buses and drunk.......an undisclosed number of beers!

So we arrive in Buenos Aires, most certainly 1 of the party capitals of the world (soon to be explained). We checked into Milhouse hostel, the possibly the most well known and talked about hostel in South America. The hostel organises parties/nights out every night and basically spoon feeds you your plans for the days as well. You simply dont have to think when staying at Milhouse, simple have your wallet ready and they do the rest! We arrived on Monday, feeling a little tender after a our last night in Mendoza and a long overnight bus trip! We look at the board ans see the weeks activities: Monday Evening Milhouse Party! We couldn't be party poopers so it was kind of like we had to go!

To sum up BA, we were there for 7 nights and we went out 7 nights. Just to explain to you how things work in this city. You eat dinner around 10pm and then start thinking about going out at 12.30pm.....so you generally arrive home around 6.30 pm. Yes the days are long!

BA is an amazing city, with delicious food, great bars/clubs, beautiful people and a lot of history. Its only possible negative point is that temperatures reach 40 degrees with no way real to cool yourself down.

We explored the city, visiting the colourful Boca district with Tango dancing in the streets, bustling cafes and restaurants all with colourful vibrant colours. Of cos a visit to BA is not complete with out a tour of the Boca stadium. On this tour we found out the real reason why Boca Juniors never lose a game....1st they only sell 3000 tickets to the opposition, their seating looks directly into the sun for the entire game, they have 1 toilet for all of them and the they sell them no refreshments. 2nd they moved the opposition change rooms directly under where the hooligans stand, making any kind of team talk impossible. Now wonder they are the best team in Argentina!

In BA you will find most spectacular (if you can use this word) cemetery right in the centre of one of the most exclusive areas in BA, Recoleta. In this cemetery we found the grave of Evita Peron, a major figure in Argentinian history!

Now for the girls, lady boys, Metro boys and Gay boys (Tommy & Matt) there is Palermo. On the weekends all the bars, cafes and streets are turned into a showroom for all the young designers. Really some amazing things to buy(if only we weren't on a backpackers budget). Now something for the real boys. In Palermo you find the biggest and most amazing steaks....look at our facebook pictures for yourself....enough said.

BA was really where we kicked off the partying of RTS. Not sure we could live in BA. But visit again?.......in a heartbeat.

Next it was time to move onto Iguazu falls. This is the border of Argentina, Brazil and Paraguay. Its a wonder how this is not a wonder of the world!

The Falls were spectacular in every way. We stayed in the most amazing hostel called Hostel Inn on the Argentine side! Everyday we had in Iguazu was perfect weather wise.....sunny, hot, not a cloud in the sky. It made walkig around the falls a real treat. In addition to walking around the falls we toook the Grande Tour which involved hopping on a large power boat with around 30 other tourists and driving to virtually under the Falls. It was great fun getting up close and personal with one of natures most powerful entities.

That was Argentina..............everything we had hoped for and a little more! Great weather, beautiful and more importantly quite friendly people, culture and not to forget...... lots of the acclaimed wine and red meat.....BRILLIANT! Team RTS arent easily impressed but Argentina did a great job in doing so!

Destination 4: Chile - Down time in down town.

"BOYS WILL BE BOYS"


CHILE WAS CHILL TIME

By the time we hit Chile we were pretty broken individuals! Tired from the recent weeks of partying, climbing, biking, sitting in jeeps etc etc! We were in definite need of a rest and serious relaxation. Chile definitely provided this for us!

Chile was way more first world then Bolivia or Peru! WAY MORE! The border post actually had computers, swipe reading scanners for your passports and they did a thorough bag search! (lucky they didn't confiscate barbie!) I must say we were happy to be in a more first world place, especially after the Salt Flats where we slept on a thin mattress simply plonked on top of a pile concrete. The pillows in Salt Flats couldn't really be described as pillows either! Lumpy porridge pillows as Guy described them. Food....we were not entirely sure what we were eating in Bolivia half the time.

As we drove down to San Pedro de Atacama on tar for the first time in a long time, we could feel the oxygen in the air getting thicker, we could feel ourselves getting warmer and our spirits lifted quickly! We had a nice meal in San Pedro and decided to stay a night to rest our weary bones and possibly drink a few Cuba Libras. Found a lovely hostel and when bodies hit the comfy beds it was tickets. As the evening approached it became clear that a big night was on the cards. Guy made a wise decision to rest his body half due to his body rejecting lunch. Julian on the other hand, still acting like a 2 year old, decided to bend it like Beckham with Matt the kiwi that we still hadn´t managed to ditch, Clint and Jane (kiwi couple) and Michelle (English girl). The next day Guy awoke refreshed and feeling great, Julian woke up still a little drunk. There is more rum than coke in those drinks.....(seriously no joke). We had the day to kill before our bus departed so we rented bikes and went cruising around San Pedro. It was hot hot and we had a great day in the desert around San Pedro. Visited Pukura Quito (a cool old hide out of some dude) that was carved into a nearby mountain. We explored that and found an awesome cave which we spent a good half hour exploring in almost pitch blackness.

Later that evening we embarked on our Premium Class 22 hour bus trip down to Santiago! We were situated downstairs in the lap of luxury. Had Clint, Jane and Michelle with us.....feeling equally as bad as Jules. So we were in really good company....which was necessary cause all the movies were in Spanish! Lots of "would you rather" questions and card games. We all managed a good nights sleep after our host made or beds for us and tucked us in. For those of you who haven't been to South America, the seats recline all the way into beds and you feel like you are lying in a massive old lazy boy! The 22 hours sailed by and before we knew it we had reached Santiago....

Easy food in South America is hot dogs.....only they don´t call them hot dogs.....they are called 'Doggies'. Try going up to the counter and asking for a ....DOGGIE! Very amusing.

"BEER, SUN, POOL, BIKINIS....HEAVEN?"

By Santiago we were well ready for some serious down time. The hostel we checked into was the nicest hostel in South America for sure. Awesome pool with a bar in the pool.....it was an old colonial mansion with high ceilings and original wooden floors. The owner was an awesome Aussie guy. It was aaaaaaaaaaamazing! We decided it was time to get in touch with our feminine side....so we tried our hand at waxing....3 weeks later, the patch of leg that was waxed is still smooth as a babies bum!

"THE AUSSIE CREW"

We spent our time lying by the pool sunning ourselves, drinking beer in the pool bar and having plenty of banter with some awesome Aussie girls that we met in the hostel. Had a couple nights out but really took it pretty easy. Next door was a great sushi restaurant, which we frequented every night! We were HAPPY. Guy did not actually see any of Santiago to be honest. There was no real need to leave the hostel and we needed the R&R! Santiago was all about Sun, Sushi and Cervesa.

So after 5 quick days in Santiago, it was time to climb on another bus (Guy maybe still slightly intoxicated at 2 pm - Jules the sensible 1 this time) 8 hours to the start of chapter 5 - Argentina.

Chile was short but fun. Perhaps in hind sight we should have tried to see a bit more of it (Lake district and the beaches) but we needed the time to relax after a month of travelling. We never knew travelling would be such hard work! We need a holiday! But Chile is certainly a place we would like to come back to. Guess now we have a reason for 'RoadtrippintheSsphere - Round Dos!

Destination 3: Bolivia - La Paz and the Salt Flats

Bolivia is a mad place.....here is our story.

Our first stop after we crossed into Bolivia was a tiny, sleepy hippy town on Lake Titicaca called Copacabana. Copacabana is situated at very high altitude...around 4000m. Its a surreal place tho....very bungi, very cold at night, very cheap and VERY sleepy! We went out the first night looking for a bit of jol not really knowing what to expect. We were expecting a small party town but there was literally NOTHING happening! Think the locals are all literally just too stoned at home!

Seeing there wasn´t much happening we decided on a romantic dinner for 2. We had heard Bolivia was going to be cheap but we didn´t expect it to insanely cheap. This will give you an idea of how cheap it is here. Three course meal, free c0cktail and coffee at the end....22 Bolivianos, which is 3 dollars US, which is around 2 quid! Crazy cheap!

You know that saying ´Only in South Africa´ - well it definitely pertains more to Bolivia I reckon! The waiter, a Dave Grohl/Jesus look alike takes your order sitting next to you as if he is your best mate. After that we even saw him bumming smokes off the people sitting next to us! When we asked for our coffee at the end he first went to go have his dinner with his mate, finished his meal then decided to go get our coffee. The place seemed like it was in slow motion.

"WHITE MEN CAN JUMP"

Our first day in Bolivia was spent waiting around town for a Matt Paterson (Kiwi surfer) we had met traveling. Why we befriended him is another question all together? Any SAFFA worth his weight knows that a Saffa is too cool for a Kiwi! Matt arrived midday and we decided to head out to this island called Isla del Sol (Island of the Sun), a short boat ride from Copacabana. This tiny little island was wonderful. It is so small you can go north to South in a few hours walking.
The day was gorgeous, blue skies and high temperatures. We were swamped as we arrived by 10 young islanders all offering to be our tour guide and carry our bags up the steep cliffface to the hostels! We accepted the help of guys called Alvarro. He was apparently 20 but looked like he was 14! He had about 3 front teeth in total (top and bottom), claimed he was a tour guide and claimed he was fluent in English! He seemed like our best option so we got him and his mates to help us with our bags and accepted his offer to take us around the Island the next day! If you thought Cobacabana was quiet then this place took it to a new level. After dinner and after the sun sets there is literally nothing to do! To back up my point Alvarro explained he was one of 18 siblings. He said one of his mates had over 20 brothers and sisters! We were in bed by seven trying to sleep and decided how we were going to get rid of Paterson. Matt has the amazing ability to snorr and fart virtually simultaneously. Not just ordinary snorring and farting but some pretty loud and intense sounds and aromas! At around 9 we were woken up by people singing, dancing and making a farking a racket upstairs. Was not happy till they decided to come downstairs and wake us up....they were two nice looking Swedish gals. They invited us upstairs for a drinks (circle of Death) with a couple of Aussies, couple of Canadians and a Scot! But alas we quickly ran out of booze and had to go running around this little island in the middle of the night looking for more alcohol. Everything shuts at sun set so we thought we were out of luck until some man overheard us talking, came out, opened up his house and sold a whack of booze! Had quite big evening in the end.

No sleep day cruised round the island with Alvarro. All we can say is it is very pretty as none of us understood a word of what old Alvarro said. First his english was special for lack of a better word.....but more importantly we think he lacked any kind of knowledge of the island....

After a day of exploring the island of the sun (this was without done the island of the SUN), we caught the ferry back to the mainland and bussed it to La Paz. The three hour bus journey cost 10 Bolivians, less than a quid. The guy that sold is the ticket said it was direct to La Paz....."Direct" being a subjective word in Bolivia we suppose! As darkness fell the bus stopped and we were told to vacate the bus (friggin cold and dark dark dark outside) But now the fun starts....we have to board a dodgy little boat suitably named the ´Titanic´. The Titanic was nothing like its namesake to be honest, it was a little pile of junk, capacity probably around 12 persons.....we had maybe 18! Oh and it had no lights! We had to cross this wide, powerful river, with swell so large that it almost made waves! The bow of the "Titanic" was plunging under the swells repeatedly. We were getting thrown around like circus monkeys in literally pitch black. We even started discussing wills for the first time in our lives! We were admittedly scared on that dodge little boat.

We arrived in La Paz, safe and went to Adventure Brew Hostel. Awesome hostel in La Paz central with a micro-brewery on site! Only arrived at 10.30pm....which is what time the city starts pumping! Had a good night out....La Paz is crazy. Night started off by drinking local rum (poured out of literally a plastic petrol tank). Our first night wasn´t a disapointment, had a great time. When you roll in at 10 am you are pretty sure you have had a good time.....Matthew (the kiwi rolled in at 5 pm after falling asleep on a couch in a bar/restaurant - can´t take those kiwis anywhere!)

Monday of the new week was a bit of a scary day to be honest.......there was a massive strike/march on La Paz.....150 000 people marching outside blowing up dynamite. The protesters marched, some of them for weeks from the country to strike! It was a very colourful affair and seemed very organized! Spoke to the travel agent in the hostel and he advised we don't go out and said things could turn really nasty and dangerous. He couldn't really explain what the strike was all about but it obviously had something to do with Morales. We watched it from the comfort of the 4th floor. I thought it was going to get messy when we were sitting watching a DVD and some massive explosions went off...they literally shook the ground. In the end it petered out quite peacefully. For a couple of days after that we couldn´t really book any tours or anything. We had originally wanted to go to the Amazon but Matthew (never trust a Kiwi) "WISELY" suggested we climb Huayna Potosi. He said his bro did it and said it was awesome. In retorspect we think Matts bro was playing a practical joke on us! The climb and the descent was one of the hardest days of our lives, I promise. Read on......really just not a lot of fun!

"TRAINING DAY"

Early start, brekkie and headed straight off to the agency to get picked up. We were the first guys there. Next thing a oke rocks up....nice looking blond dude. Start chatting, we all say we looking forward to the climb, small group should be cool! He goes small group, nah nah nah nah....he is in a group of 10! Where u from, the big question? Please don't say it, please dear Lord! Israel! He said it.....Israelis are the worst backpackers in the world. Some hostels don't allow them in.....they are just painful! How much for a room.....okay, 10 dollars. Does that include a towel? Yes. How much without a towel? Does it include breakfast? Yes it does...how much without the breakfast etc etc. Our Israelis were all staying in 'Kibbutz' just for Israelis. We get into the jeep and the talking starts....phelgm sounds being thrown around everywhere....the leader of the pack of Isrealis speaks in English: can we ask you a question....sure.....more banter.....Hebrew Hebrew Hebrew fills the van....Ghhhhhhh, Ghhhhhh, Shhhhhh..'How much you guys pay?' Can you friggin believe it?´Not where you from? Not what is your name? Not what you been up to in South America? Just no clue! Eventually got up to the training camp. Training was loads of fun....very very cold but good preparation for the mountain. Ugo (the owner) knew the deal and separated us from the Israelis and put us with a cool Canadian couple Roberto and Emily! Very nice people (other than the fact they enjoyed climbing, camping and trekking). Climbing trekking and camping became swear words after our trip up this god forsaken mountain! Had a nice dinner and an early night in a kak little bed. We woke up late following training day, had copious amounts of coffee, cocoa tea, brekkie and played countless games of presidents and a-holes. We were in a happy place, oblivious as to what we had got ourselves into! The calm before the storm we suppose. At around 3 we started our assault on high camp......a mere 2 hours away but you had a big backpack with all your gear, ice axe, ice boots, crampons, snow jackets etc. At the 'camp' (a round tin shack) we had some cocoa tea, soup, noodles and attempted to fall asleep. We were all lying on top of each other, the guides fell asleep farting and snorring like their lives depended on it, you could not move, no pillow......it was the worst 5 hours sleep (if you can call it that) of my life. There was no sleep.... Midnight they woke us up.....We were feeling terrible.... Jules had a fever and me a sore sore neck. We both had headaches that seemed to split our poor little pips into 4! We were feeling ROUGHER than a baboons behind. 1am we set of for the summit in the pitch black freezing cold. One foot in front of the other, no talking, nausea, darkness, coldness, dangerous drop offs either side of you, no breath, freezing (thought frostnip was gonna get guy again), 30m ice walls, Ice everywhere and always pitch black.......The only light coming from you small headlight. We bravely soldiered on right the way to the top. Guy got to 30 meters below the summit and decided not to do the last little bit as it looked FRIGGIN dodgy! Sheer cliff literally! This earned Guy the name 6050 from Matt and Julian. We remember a few things that made it memorable.....looking up at the stars and it was amazing (a-maaaaaaaaaaze-ing trip joke), the view from 6050 was also pretty spectacular! Jules and Mat took some stunners from the top. You reach the summit as the sun is rising.....you are higher then the clouds and the view takes what little breath you have away. All below you the sun lights up snow capped mountains....just for a moment you think all the pain was all worth it. Sum it up: once at the top it was worthwhile, getting there was not fun! Basically NEVER again. If you see us going trekking again above 5000m please ask our Mums to check us into rehab! Made it down to high camp and then base and went home on the worlds longest bus ride.

Again, team Roadtripping the Sphere, aka the ´Worlds worst back packers´ did a great job planning etc. It was Friday night and we were exhausted from the mountain plus we booked the worlds most Dangerous Road the next day so we couldn´t put on our glad rags and squeak some takkie on the dance floor!

"DEATH ROAD"

The Worlds Most Dangerous Road....This name was given to this road by a group of American scientists who did a study on a number of roads all around the world! Great group of people and really nice guide (Dan from South West England). He pretty much scared the living daylights into us from moment one telling us of the horror stories and exactly why it is the most dangerous road etc. It is the worlds most dangerous road cause it has the most deaths/km in the world.When you get to the top you see a sign that says 43 people have been killed on the road this year......Dan then goes, that is wrong, last weekend we had 9 more so it is now 52! First part was on a wide tarred highway....a nice introduction to your bike. Once you get to the worlds most dangerous road your heart is pounding. As we got into it and confidence increased, we started to go a lot faster and we REALLY enjoy it. To give you an idea of the gradient: One rides from an altitude of 4700m to 1700 m in a few hours, with sheer drops of 600m in some cases...We loved the whole day, really was amazing. The drive back up was probably the most harrowing because;
a) you don´t have control of your movements...the bus driver has your life in his hands
b) you look out the window and catch a glimpse of nothing! I cant really explain how high up you really are.....or the views. Sorry, you have to go do it for yourself!

"LOOKING GOOD.....PLAYING BAD"

We also played golf in La Paz on the worlds highest course.....What an amazing golf course. We drove down through the valley of La Paz. As we drove further and further down things got more and more affluent! 4x4´s, massive houses etc. When we arrived at the golf course it was something out of James Bond film. Massive clubhouse, so very colonial, GREEN GREEN fairways in what is a very dry brown area....it was somewhere where you could imagine a few drug lords meeting on a weekday for some cigars, whiskey and discuss the next big deal! We all played pretty bad golf by our high standards but is well worth it! (Panda we think you know who won)

"THE FELLOW INMATES"

Another highlight was visiting San Pedro Prison in La Paz! One of the craziest days of our lives.....rocked up to the prison not really knowing what to expect. Saw two blonde lasses talking to a man, who was quite clearly Kenny (real Cape Coloured looking oke). He took us to the prison entrance where we all signed our names and passport numbers into a book. He then started chatting to Daniel through the gate in sterk Afrikaans. Daniel didn´t sound to happy with things but we were taken in! He was a pretty screwed up dude to be honest! Told us he had a gram of cocaine for breakfast as he had ripped off his entire big toe nail! He showed us that he had and it was not pretty! He sat us down in the second floor of the cell that belonged to a good mate of Pablo Escabar! He got out his computer and played us a bit of Steve Hofmeyer and then showed us a documentary on San Pedro Prison....pretty amazing place is the biggest understatement I have ever made! Place is as bent as Elton John....so uber corrupt it frightens even Bob Mugabe! Basically the prison is microcosm of the world in general. It is total free market economy in there. You have to buy your own cell, you have to have a job if you don´t have money (a show polisher, a guide, a person who gets stuff, you run a store, you mend clothes etc), you can live with your wife and children in the prison ...they can come and go as they please. The only restriction for you is that you have to be at roll call every morning at 7.00 am. There are even elections in the prison for mayors of certain areas of the prison. These mayors control their areas .....ie most people are in there for white collar crimes. Sometimes a rapist or murderer will be put in prison. When this happens they are monitored closely as most the guys in their have wives and kids you roam freely around the prsion. If they step out of line they get killed in the pool (thrown in there and every time they try to surface they have rocks thrown at their head).

Daniel then took us up to the 3 rd floor of Jorge Siaz´s cell where we just rapped for ages. Daniel told us his life story, how he had become a muel, how he was he reckons done over etc. We sit and chat for hours....picking his brain for as many details of the prison. He also told us that there was trouble in the prison as an ex president was in the prison when we were there. He allegedly ordered a village of around 30 Bolivians to be killed! The strike that I mentioned earlier had something to do with this ex president. People speculate as to why he is in San Pedro. The dont know if he is in their for his own safety or for his crimes! Anyways as we were leaving the prsion we couldn´t leave the way we came as there were a group of angry protesters outside calling for this guys head on a plate!

Headed to Oliver Travels (the local) after being safely let out of prison. We all were in need of serious drink as the tour really leaves you a bit edgy! Had a fun night with the girls partying in the hostel! playing drinking games and celebrating our freedom.....We never want to go to prison. But if we had to go....San Pedro would be our 1st choice for sure.

Our next adventure was the Salt Flats in Uyuni! We caught a dodge Trans Omar bus from La Paz to Uyuni. Bus ride from hell. Supposed to leave at 8pm and arrive 7am the following day......that is what they said.(Never catch the local buses always the tourist bus) We arrived at around 1pm the following day. Worst bus ride ever, bumpy as hell! Reason for our delay...well, we were in the desert and the bus broke down. They would try fix it, we would move around 100meters and then stop the bus, someone would jump out the bus, run back about 50 meters to collect our fan belt which kept on dropping out the back of the friggin bus!

"DAVID vs GOLIATH"

We spent the nite in Uyuni and jumped onto a 3 day 4x4 trip through the salt plains and the worlds driest dessert. 8 people in a 4 x 4, very cosy. We did it with 4 Irish girls. The salt flats are pretty amazing......white for as far as the eye can see....to see just how amazing it is, you would have to look at our photos on FB. Words could do it no justice....After we left the salt plains it was into the dessert......now this just involved a lot of driving....and I mean a lot of driving. But perhaps another highlight of this dessert in the salt lakes dotted around the desert swarming with pink flamingos. Who ever said the dessert is freezing at nite.....was NOT lying! So cold that we contemplated sharing 1 sleeping bag to keep warm with body heat. On the last day before reaching the Chile/Bolivia border we stopped of at geysers which were extremely hot and with horrible smells of sulphur....and the highlight hot natural salt springs....We wasted no time climbing in...35 degree water and so good for your skin......

This brought the end of chapter 4 of "ROADTRIPPIN THE SPHERE". Bolivia....what a place, highly recommended and thoroughly enjoyed....

Destination 2: Peru - Lima, Cusco and Macchu Pichu

"BUMP IT......WORLD"

SOUTH AMERICA HERE WE COME.....HOLD ON

So 1 day late its welcome to the South America continent, namely Peru. Well being told that in South Africa we live in a third world country we were probably not prepared for the REAL 3rd world.....LIMA.....We jump in our cab and head for Mirraflores the wealthy district of Lima(as recommended by the Lonely "Lying" Planet), namely the Flying Dog backpackers....We are both mouth open/wide eyed as our taxi driver frantically makes his way through the traffic....The driving style is 1 hand on the wheel , 1 on the horn and GO! Road rules? Lines on the raod? These are both non existent....We thought world tour was going to end day 4! But after some hair raising moments we surprisingly arrived at our backpackers unscathed .... checked in and heading straight for the bar, well the pool table, but in order to use the table we have to buy a beer! Honestly we wanted cokes, but what can a boy do? We meet an Aussie and NZ guy straight up who instantly told us we were all heading out! Bartini was were it was all happening! Really great place full of Locals....it became very quickly apparent that in Peru, plastic surgery was not just for the wealthy. and this girls compete with barbie when it comes to plastic......But had a fantastic night and managed to meet many locals. Things in South America only get going at 1am so when I say we rolled in at 6 am, don't judge us....After all when in Rome! Well we spent the next 4 days exploring Lima with some of the locals we had met. Unfortunately in Lima you never really ever feel safe. Always needing to watch over your shoulder and look out for getting ripped off by the many taxis....I think about 60% of all Lima´s cars are taxis and at push maybe 5% of those are road worthy! But it all added to the experience..... In central Lima you can see the strong Spanish Influence and some parts really do not look 3rd world. Well at least 1 pedestrian street and 2 squares that is. There is a massive police presence and all armed to the teeth. We also visited the catacombs of the San Francisco Monks....Very interesting. Only 35 monks remain there today! We also went to a great locals hang out the one night called El Sergeanty, dedicated to the Beatles. Really really good and very big nite!And so on the 6th of October it was time to head for Cusco(small dog) Previosly Cuzco but changed by the Spanish....This city is at 3600m above sea level, that is the top of most European ski resorts, so as you can imagine Oxygen is in short supply and simply walking around you find yourself sucking hard for air! Cusco is considered the tourist capital of SOUTH AMERICA. This soon becomes apparent, you feel very safe and the squares are extremely beautiful and well kept! The squares are all filled with amazing flowers and beautiful buildings. After checking into our hotel, we get a guided tour of the city....(its not very big 590000 people) but the highlight being the food market. We learn that Peruvians eat everything.....and I mean everything! From full frogs to cows mouthes....you will understand when you see the photos! Very colourful and amazing to see! and the fruit juices prepared in front of you with milk are to die for! and at 3 soles (roughly 1 dollar US) its a bargain....After the guided tour we end up back in the main square....We then find out every Sunday the military and the Police do a massive and very impressive parade to raise the countries flag. This last for about 5 hours and is performed to perfection. Not something you would expect from a 3rd world country! We obviously don´t sit through the whole thing! But were none the less well impressed! It was then time for a spot of breakfast, we found a cute little cafe and made ourselves comfy. We got chatting to 2 danish girls and organised to meet up for drinks later. They turned out to be great fun and up for a bit of a party...So we hung out together for 2 nights, thats 2 agressively big nites. This after being told by our tour guide not to drink for at least 2 days! Oops.....it doesn´t take a lot to get drunk at that alitude, so its not our fault. The 9th of October we did the sacred valley tour. We visited some great Inca ruins and learnt all about the history of the Inca people. Their beliefs in the Upper, middle and lower world. Fire, Water and earth. Mother earth was very importnat to them. and they never mined for their buildings but rather had to wait for rocks to break off to use them for thier buildings! It was really amazing to see the ruins of the buildings that they made and just how they did so many years ago without technology! Its was was a whole day tour of information. An interesting thing we saw was a small Christo Blanco (White Christ statue) Given to the people of Cusco by the Arabs. Which is weird as the Arabs don´t believe in Christ, but it was a gift as the people of Cusco gave them a place to stay while there were problems in their own country!

"BRRRRRR....ITS COLD IN HERE"

So we arrive at our first trek. Now we do not camp, we do not trek and we do not climb....but we definitely don´t do all of these in the rain. So the start of the Lares trek, an alternative to the Inca trail...and it started off in pouring rain! so after a 4 hour drive we arrived at the start of our 3 day trek. Our guide Victor introduced us to our chef, porters, our 2 donkeys, then donned our B-E-A-U tiful ponchos and set of. During our drive we stop at a bakery to pick up loads of small bread roll like things to hand out to the kids we will meet along the way. Victor our guide is great and the fun begins. The surroundings are absolutely breath taking and it reminds us of hiking in the drakensberg. Its cold and wet but we are not in London working so it has a whole different meaning.

"BREAD.....THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?"

Its not long before we meet our first children. They are extremely adorable and very well mannered. They don{t ask for bread but come running up to you with the excitement of western kids on christmas eve. As you hand them a "pan" (thats bread in spanish - we are now fluent!) their faces light up on the utter a nervous "gracious", they are very cute. Now we say camping but really this is slightly better than that. Our food (3 course meals) are prepared in a cooking tent with chairs and table, our sleeping tents are erected for us, pur sleeping mats are blown up and laid out for us and in the morning its all packed up....Most certainly our kinda camping! The first nite we sleep amongst the water right below snow capped mountains at 4400m....its still raining and its cold.

"DOGS LOVE THE WIND IN THEIR FACES"

Day we have an early start, but not with out a quick 2 course breaky.... its a hard hour up to the highest level of the trail 4600 m with snow at our feet. At the pass we have beautiful views of the valley the one side and a tourquise lake the other side. The sun is out and the trekking is .... i´m happy to say....not so bad. Its 8 hours of walking to camping spot number 2, passing through amazing terrain and rural settlements. Day 3 we have a short day tha brings us to Olyantambo.... where we are to catch the train to Maichu Picchu. 40 kms completed and buns walking like John wayne because he hiked with no jocks.

"ITS A WONDER OF THE WORLD"

The next stop was Maichu pichu which is simply amazing, we can do no justice trying to explain this wonder to you. You simply need to go for yourself...... The ruins are simply amazing. The first 400 people up get the option of climbing Wyna Pichu. which climbs 800m in a matter of a 30 min climb. its pretty intense and nerve racking but the view from the top is stunning. You look down on the ruins through the clouds....have a look at the pics!

After that it was back to Cusco to get back on the beers after 3 dry dry days. No man should be on holiday and go a day without a cervesa ( beer in spanish - we told you we were fleunt) So it was a couple more nites in loki hostel Cusco (anyone going that way its the place to stay) before we started our journey for Bolivia!

Peru.....a success, cheap, fun and beautiful....but very 3rd world.